Ryan's Daily Journal
by Mark Lopa
Summary: This is Ryan Atwood's daily journal, starting with Thursday, May 15, 2008. Enjoy!
1. Thursday, May 15, 2008

**Thursday, May 15, 2008**

I haven't written in here since the day the Cohen's repurchased the house in Berkeley, so this entry will be more of a catch up. Tomorrow I'll start back on my daily insights. I'm glad I'm finally getting around to journal again. The more things change, the more they stay the same. The Cohen's have moved back to Newport Beach. Although Sandy has been enjoying teaching law at Berkeley, he really missed working as a public defendant. He wrapped up his semester work last week and came down with Kirsten and Sophie the next day. I think Kirsten missed the area even more. I've found when you move from your home, even if it's a not so nice place like Chino, you miss it. The Cohens felt that way about Berkeley, which is why they moved back. But then they felt that way about Newport Beach even more. They didn't sell the house in Berkeley, though. They already made that mistake once. It will be their second home, and they said I'm more than welcome to use it when I start attending Berkeley College in the fall. I'm not sure if I'll take them up on that offer, though. I may want to live in campus to get the true college experience…at least for a couple of years. We'll see.

Their new house in Newport Beach is actually on the exact same property as their old house was when the earthquake destroyed it. Sandy has denied it, but I think in the back of his mind he always intended to rebuild. If you can believe it, the house is bigger. Maybe they're preparing for expanded family visits. Summer will be coming home soon—a little earlier than expected--and not long after there will be a wedding, and before we all know it they'll be bringing little ones with them. The pool is bigger, and the pool house actually has five rooms now and an upstairs. It rivals the size of the house in Berkeley. Sandy and Kirsten offered it to Taylor and me, and for now we're taking them up on it. The funny thing is that in addition to this pool house, they built another smaller pool house that is about the same size as the original and serves as the true pool house. So where I am now is more like a guest house…completely self sufficient. I actually wouldn't mind living here for quite some time. There's plenty of room for Taylor and me, and even for one or two more. Besides, how can I deny myself morning bagels when I'll be home from school?

Things with Taylor have been great. You should see how she interacts and takes care of Sophie. She has been her unofficial nanny, and I can tell she's going to be a wonderful mother…which makes me love her even more. I've known for a while now she and I will be together forever. We both know we're going to get married, but it's up to me to decide when I'm going to pop the question. Part of me feels I should wait at least until Seth asks Summer, but another part of me wants to ask her now. I wouldn't be surprised if one day soon, I buy a ring. We'll see.

It's different with Taylor than it was with Marissa. With Taylor, everything feels so right and comfortable and exciting. We're almost like two people joined into one when we're together. With Marissa, everything was so complicated. The love was true and genuine between us, but we could never rest and be happy. There was so much baggage that kept piling up, and it ended in a way I will never fully recover. I'm still haunted by the thought if I never showed up, maybe Marissa would still be alive. I just need to accept what has happened, which gets easier every day, and move on with my life and be happy with Taylor. Marissa would have wanted it that way.

I feel like the luckiest man around. As I type this on my PC and look out the window at the ocean as the sun sets, I'm reminded of that even more. Sandy and Kirsten saved my life. Seth has given me the unconditional friendship I never had and cherish so much. Marissa taught me that love, no matter how much against the odds it can be, is worth fighting for no matter what people say. And Taylor…my wonderful, beautiful Taylor…she proves to me every day how much of a gift it is to simply wake up each morning. I absolutely am the luckiest man on this planet!


	2. Friday, May 16, 2008

**Friday, May 16, 2008**

I received a letter from Seth this morning. Supposedly he tried to call me 700 times the other day but it wasn't going through…whatever that means. I was surprised to read that he's quitting school, although the reason is not surprising at all. Apparently, he made an impression on George Lucas when he briefly met him a couple of years ago, and he remembered Seth. He offered Seth a job at Lucasfilms to be a graphic designer. He's going to immediately be working on the finishing touches of The Clone Wars movie, and then start working on the series that will follow. It's all animated, so Seth will love that. Lucas also told him he's made the decision to do a complete 180 and make Episodes VII, VIII, and IX of Star Wars and wants Seth to work on those as well. Apparently that's stop secret information, so why Seth is writing that in a letter is beyond me. I love Seth like a brother, but sometimes I shake my head at the geekness he rubbed off on me. Seven years ago, I wouldn't have a clue about episode numbers relating to Star Wars. Now, I know exactly what he's talking about. I'm not exactly hanging light sabers on my wall and walking around in storm trooper masks, but I definitely have some geek in me. But this is going to be great for Seth, and I know Sandy and Kirsten will be trilled for him as well. The cool thing is he'll be close…not all the way in Rhode Island any more. He just has to learn to keep his mouth shut about the movies. If Lucas ever knew he wrote that in a letter, he'd be canned before he started working.

With Seth coming back to the area and Summer returning soon, I bet the two of them will get engaged rather quickly. They have been able to see each other a few times, and from what Seth has told—and multiple times I've had to tell him to water down the details—they are getting closer by this experience of being apart. When I first met Seth and learned of his obsession with Summer, I never thought in a million years he would even get her to look at him. But somewhere, that obsession turned into true love, and that day when he stood on that table really drove it home. They really are great for each other. Seth had helped bring Summer down to Earth, and Summer…well she's brought him up from under that social rock he's been living under.

I also got a letter from Mom. She and her new boyfriend Ross are having the time of their life together. That's awesome. My mom has had a very tough life, and Trey and I didn't make anything any easier. Now that Sandy helped her find a real job, she's making real money and associating with the right kind of people. That's how she met Ross. I've been meaning to go visit them…maybe later this month. Ross is taking her to Cape Cod for the week, so I know she'll be having a blast. Good for her.

Taylor and I went to the cemetery today. We went to see Caleb and then Marissa. With all the cemeteries in the area, it's kind of amazing they're in the same one. Julie of course had something to do with that. I don't go see Caleb every time I go there, but he was kind of like my grandfather, and Julie—who I have really grown a lot of respect for over the years—truly loved him, so in a way I do it for her. I usually don't go to see Marissa alone. I don't know why, but I feel sort of uncomfortable being there by myself. Maybe part of it's because I didn't go to the funeral. I know Taylor doesn't mind at all how often I go. She said it's all part of the healing process. But I like when she comes with me. Sometimes I go with Julie, and once in a while when one of the Cohens goes, but mostly it's with Taylor. When I do go alone, I really don't know what to say. There really isn't much to say anymore. I truly believe she can see and hear me, so when I do talk to her, I know she's listening. I don't have to go to the cemetery to do that, but I find it more peaceful…even though it can be uncomfortable…if that makes any sense.

I'm getting a new car; an Audi A6. Sandy says it will compliment the estates automobile population very nicely. I'm not getting rid of my pickup, through. I got it last year…a 1992 Chevy. The thing has 150,000 miles on it but runs like a dream. It's fun. Kirsten loves it…she has asked me many times if she can borrow it. Now, I just leave my keys in the house and she takes it whenever she feels like going trucking. I always know if the truck is gone, I can take her BMW. That's kind of how I got to wanting an Audi. I test drove one up in Berkley and knew I wanted one. Sandy's helping out. Actually, he wanted to buy it for me in cash right on the sport, but I insisted on a loan. He said fine, but he was going to refuse interest. So that's where we stand on that, and I'll be getting it next week. Taylor and I will be looking good in that car.

Watching the construction workers build the main house and this pool house—and everything else on the property—really caught my interest. I came down here as often as I could to watch and see what kind of progress they made. I got to talking with the workers and owner of the engineering firm when he visited the site. The owner offered me a job. I'm going to be helping out with one of his land surveying teams. They tell me I'm going to be a "rodman." So next week I'll be a rodman Audi owner….or something like that. It sure beats doing odd jobs while preparing for college in the fall. I may actually enjoy it.


	3. Monday, May 19, 2008

**Monday, May 19, 2008**

We had more beautiful weather this weekend, which was good because Sandy and Kirsten finished moving everything from Berkley. They left the Berkley house completely furnished and will probably go up there for weekends at least twice a month. Now they have the best of both worlds from two eras of their lives. I bet Sandy is going to miss teaching just like he missed working at the DAs office. Let's just hope he stays put now. He had the opportunity to teach at his alma mater, though, and that was a great experience for him. Maybe he'll teach a night class at a local college down here. I'll think I'll talk with him about it.

I got a shock on Saturday afternoon. Taylor and I were on the beach, and I got a call on my cell phone from Trey. My emotions are so messed up with him. I love him because he's my brother. Even after what he did to all of us, that hasn't changed. But if it weren't for him, Marissa probably would still be alive. But then, I wouldn't be with Taylor. See…I keep playing these games with my head. It drives me nuts. It's one of the reasons I wish Trey would just stay out of my life. He called because he wanted to talk to Mom and needed her number. I didn't give it to him. I'm not going to let him mess up what Mom is building with Ross. He certainly messed up my life and the lives of people I care about when he came back. Who knows what would happen with Mom. He was pissed, but I think a part of him understood and even respected me for holding ground. I'm glad Taylor was there when I got the call, because she helped me calm down after. Then I drove her to her mom's house. They went out and then she spent the night there. Their relationship has improved a lot since the earthquake. Her mom has opened up to me, too. I think it settled in how precious a daughter can be after seeing what Julie has gone through with Marissa, plus the scare of not knowing how Taylor was after the earthquake rattled her. She still has her moments, but she wants to be part of Taylor's life, and being nice to me is part of that.

So Saturday night I was by myself…which was kind of strange, but a little liberating as well. It was kind of nice to just be by myself. Sunday I spent most of the day helping Sandy and Kirsten get the house in order. It's like we're back to where we were before the earthquake. I walked from the pool house across the patio and into the kitchen to find coffee being brewed and bagels being prepared by Sandy. One thing they wanted in the new house was the kitchen to be exactly the same. Well, Kirsten more than Sandy. Actually, Sandy wanted to double the size of the kitchen, but Kirsten refused. She said Sandy could do anything he wanted with any other part of the whole property, but the kitchen was hers and she put her foot down. I have to admit I was with Sandy on this one. The kitchen is just too cramped, and I'm not exactly a nostalgic kind of guy…although I am a little more than I was. But all in all, it's kind of neat to walk through the doors and have the familiar look of that kitchen. The rest of the house…it's crazy. I don't think I would ever have the time to describe it. The rooms are not too big and don't give you a chilly museum feeling…there are just a lot of relatively smaller rooms. I honestly don't know how many rooms are in that house. It could be 50 for all I know.

Well, it's another beautiful morning. We've been having a ridiculous string of great weather…I almost miss the rain. (I know I'll live to regret saying that.) Tomorrow I start my new job, so today we're just going to spend one more day being lazy. Sandy has a week before he starts back at his old job, so Kirsten and he are taking Sophie out for the day. Taylor and I will have the estate to ourselves, but I'm sure we'll spend most of it on the beach. I'll try to write more later today. Time to shower…

I just had a nice dinner with Sandy, Kirsten, and Taylor on the patio. The new patio is expanded, so we can either be sitting next to the kitchen like before, or on the far side of the pool overlooking the water. Tonight we sat near the water, and it was very relaxing to hear the water and watch the people and the birds. Perfect. I'm really slowing down and taking things in these days. When I was young--even soon after to Cohens took me in—I was always wondering what I could do next, and how fast I could get things done. I was wasting my life trying to get to tomorrow as fast as I could. I'm trying to think like children and dogs now…they live for the moment. They don't dwell on the past nor worry about the future…just have fun in the present. Not only is it more fun, it's a ton less stressful. Yesterday and tomorrow belong to where they are…today belongs to me.

Ok, enough of Philosophical Ryan. I'm a little nervous about my job tomorrow. I mean, I have basically lived on the streets, worked on a boat, and done ultimate fighting…why should I be nervous about being a rodman? You know, it's probably because I care about this job. I'm excited, which is making me nervous. That doesn't make sense to me, but it is what it is. I think what I'm looking forward to the most is working on a team that's building something…whether physically or on paper for others to build. It should be very cool. I'll set my alarm, but just in case Kirsten promised to knock on my door and have a big breakfast waiting for me bright and early. There will be lots of smearing going on in the morning. Taylor's worse about getting up early than I am, so I can't count on her to get me up. She great at a lot of things, but getting up early is not one of them.

There is one quirk about Taylor that drive me nuts, but I really can't do anything about. When she's upset or apprehensive or the adrenaline is flowing, she goes flying off the handle in French. I don't know she learned that language so fast—even living in Paris—to talk as fast as she does, but she would put any native to shame. Then again, I have no clue if she's being grammatically correct or just talking gibberish. At first, it was kind of funny, but now…how about English already? She swears it's not because she doesn't want me to know what she's saying…it just happens. When she was with her mom last night, they got into discussion with a difference of opinion that they resolved, but in the heat of the moment it was kind of tense. She was telling me about it, and as she started getting worked up, she switched to French with the snap of a finger. Hello! Taylor? I'm Ryan, not Jean Paul or whomever! I guess in a way it's cute, if I don't really care what's she's talking about. But when I want to know, it can get annoying, and then she gets annoyed because I have to have her repeat it in English. She said that problem would be resolved if I learned French. I said fine, only if she wanted to learn how to mud wrestle (which I pulled out of nowhere while in the moment). She looked at me strangely for a second, and then said to forget it…which was the goal. And I'm glad she didn't agree, because I don't want to mud wrestle. I really have no idea where I got that from.

I went to the cemetary last week because I haven't brought myself to go on the anniversary of Marissa's death. Yesterday it was three years. I can still hear her telling me not to go and to stay with her. I don't like to dwell on that, but I can't not think of it on May 18. I get angry and sad and every emotion you can think of. I'm glad I had my family with me...Sandy, Kirsten, Taylor...and I talked to Julie, too. We didn't talk to long, but next year we're going to try and do something to honor Marissa, rather than be sad about her death. She was only here for a short time, but she brought a lot of good into the word. We should focus on that. I'm a better man because of her. I will always be so greatful to her for that. I wish I told her that to her face just once. She made my soul warm, and it will always shine brightly--in honor and remembrance of her--for the rest of my life.


	4. Wednesday, May 21, 2008

**Wednesday, May 21, 2008**

It's strange not having the free time to do the things I usually have done during the course of the day, now that I'm working…including things like writing in this journal. Yesterday was my first day at my new job. I drove my truck to the engineering firm not having a clue what to expect. Mr. Samuel, the owner of the firm, met me at the front desk, and took my in the back to fill out all the necessary paperwork. He told me the firm was divided into three land surveying teams. Each team has a lead, a transitman, and a rodman. Of course, the team lead drives the van, makes sure everything we need is supplied, and makes decisions in the field. The transitman operates the transit, which is a sophisticated piece of equipment that helps find and identify certain sports and writes them down in the journal. The rodman literally holds a tall rod so the transitman can locate certain points and how high up the point is. As a rodman, I also used what's called a plumb bob…which is a pointed weight attached to a string. The point goes on a specific point on the ground, and the transitman records exactly where the string is in relation to where he's set up. It's really very interesting. After I filled out my paperwork, Mr. Samuel introduced me to my team members, Norman (team lead) and Greg (transitman)…really great guys. After we loaded the van up, we stopped at McDonald's for breakfast, which they do every day, and then hit the road. I was already full from bagels, but got some hotcakes and coffee to be part of the team. We then went to a site on the other side of Newport Beach where they're constructing a car dealership warehouse. We had to "stake" the building for the construction workers. Using our equipment, we found the exact corners of the building. First Greg found the general area of the corners using his transit and me making a mark in the ground. Then I hammered what's called a hub into the ground…which is a triangular piece of wood. Then using the plumb bob, Greg directs me where exactly to place the point on the hub. That makes a small mark on the hub, and then a pin is hammered on the exact spot…usually done by Norman. Then we put a stake in the ground next to it with colored ribbon so the hub can easily be found. This is the same procedure that's done when people find out where their property lines are. Staking the warehouse took the whole day. We took a break for lunch, walking to a local sandwich shop and sitting under a tree near the van. At the end of the day, we drove back to the firm, unloaded what had to be put back, and headed home. I had a darn good first day…very interesting. It will be neat to see this warehouse go up, knowing I helped stake the building, and knowing the corners will be exactly where I had set down the plumb bob.

When I got home, I couldn't wait to take a shower because it was another hot and sunny day. I first stopped into the main house, but Sandy and Kirsten were not there. I found Taylor and Sophie dancing to disco music. I watched for a few minutes before letting them know I was there. When Sophie saw me, she came running across the room to give me a big hug…not caring I didn't smell all that well. It's amazing how well she walks and runs already. Watching Taylor with Sophie is really great, and I saw the same look in her eyes as I picked Sophie up and hugged her. I have no doubt Taylor and I will have our own little ones running around that exact room.

OK, off to work. I wonder what Norman, Greg, and I will be doing today…


	5. Thursday, May 22, 2008

**Thursday, May 22, 2008**

I was so tired after work yesterday I didn't get around to writing in here. It was a completely different experience. We had to find property lines in a very moist, almost swampy area. The trees were so thick we had to use machetes to cut a sight line from the transit to the rod. It's kind of neat knowing when the last people did this, they had to cut a sight line as well, and since then it completely overgrew. Norman was telling me that on Doug's very first day years ago, they were in the woods cutting a site line, and Doug came down with his machete right on his leg. They spent the rest of the day at Hartford Hospital. (This was when they were working for an engineering firm way out in Glastonbury, CT. Norman later heard about a great opportunity out here in Orange Country, and the two of them actually moved their families so they could continue working together out here.) I guess years ago they were going to build on this site, but after staking the property and realizing how much needed to be cleaned up, they backed out. But the hubs and pins were still there, and when another developer decided to build here, we just needed to use the same pins. The firm that did the original work lent us their field journal so we wouldn't have to hunt around ourselves, which would be nearly impossible.

Seth is coming home tomorrow. He wanted to finish his semester classes, even though he's dropping out of school to work with Lucas. He said some day he may want to finish up his work and get his degree, and it would have been a shame to have wasted these five classes just to come back home two weeks early. So, it will be nice to have him back. I'll bug him about asking Summer the big question. He should go find out where Summer is and ask her out there. Who knows…maybe he has some elaborate plan. I think the more simple the better.

Sophie said a sentence yesterday. She said, "I lie ba-gas"…which is "I like bagels" in our language. No way Sandy has been saying that a thousand times to her, right? She's looking forward to seeing her big brother. She points to Seth's picture and says, "home." It kind of reminds me of E.T. She looks at me as her brother, too. Technically I am, I guess. It's nice…having a baby sister. That's how I think of her…it's hard not to. She's so adorable, as is my new little brother. Maybe they'll get together, who knows. Sometimes the best things in life are completely unexpected.

One of my favorite shows on TV is Boston Legal. Sandy got me into it, of course. He was big on The Practice, too. I just found out that next season, there will only be 13 episodes, and then that's it…the series will be over. That seems very odd to me. Why have the final season of a TV show produce only half the episodes…especially when it starts out on time in September? Crazy. I'll miss Alan Shore and Denny Crane and all them. The show is really funny.

Well, off to work…

Now I'm back from work. When I got home, there was someone here that I didn't expect to see…Bullit. He has two of his sons with him…Houston and Amarillo, I think? I don't know. He was here just to stop by and say hello. I think he was headed over to Julie's house. As much as I'm glad my dad is happy with Julie, I really like that Bullit He's funny. Sandy and Kirsten asked them to stay for dinner, but Bullit said he needed to pick Hanoi up at the airport. (I'm sure of that name.) It was nice seeing him again. He and Julie were good together, but he would have kept Julie on her toes and in high gear all the time. My dad has allowed Julie to slow down and concentrate on school. They really have a good thing going there. Both my parents do, finally. It's really nice.

Oh, I can't believe I haven't mentioned my car! The Audi A6 is wild! Man, do she have power. After picking it up the other night with Sandy, we got on the highway and he said, "punch it." I looked at him strangely and he threw his hand out in front of him saying, "go on! Punch it!" I still looked back at him strangely and then he said, "look kid, if you don't, we're pulling over, I'm driving, and I'll do it." So...I punched it. Holy...moley! I cannot comprehend the power this car has. After driving a short distance at a ridiculous speed, I slowed down to within 15 MPH of the speed limit, and Sandy said, "nice, huh? Now...ust make sure you drive safely." I looked at him again one more time, and he started laughing...and then said, "seriously." For the first time in a long while, I had a hard time reading Sandy Cohen. But one thing is not mistaken...I have one cool kick ass car!


	6. Monday, May 26, 2008

**Monday, May 26, 2008**

I got a call this morning from Mom. Her and Ross were about to leave Cape Cod to come home, and when they walked out to the motel parking lot to load up their car, they found the side smashed in. Evidently someone had hit it pretty hard and took off. She wanted me to talk to Sandy to see what course of action they could take. Ross didn't elect to take the extra insurance, so Sandy's not sure what exactly they can do, but he's going to check it out this morning. While he figures that out, Mom and Ross are going to stay for a few more days. They don't want to bring the car back in that shape unless they know exactly where they stand. I felt bad for then, but after I got off the phone and thought about it, I felt pretty good. I'm glad I can help my mom out like that. Of course, Sandy is the one who's going to be doing all the work, but it's not what you do, it's who you know. I assured my mom Sandy will do everything possible to minimize their monetary damage, so that made her relax. At least they'll have a few extra days vacation. I got a post card from them on Saturday. They're staying at a place called the Three Seasons Motor Lodge in Dennisport. It's right on the beach. In fact, their room faces the beach and is the best room in the whole place. Leave it to Ross to get my mom the best room. They also mentioned this restaurant next door called The Ocean House she said was excellent and Taylor and I would have to go there one of these days with them. Maybe we can make it a family vacation. They had beautiful weather out there over the weekend, so they got to use that private beach of theirs a lot.

Seth came home on Friday. He starts his job with Lucas Tuesday. It's great to have him back. Now all we need is for Summer to be home, but that will be before we all know it. Seth thinks it will be right after the July 4 holiday. I think Seth can hang in there for six more weeks. He'll probably be way too busy with Lucas to dwell on it that much. Well…we'll see.

We had people over here for a Memorial Day cookout. Julie and my dad came with Little Bro (that's what I've been calling him…he seems to like it), along with Taylor's mom and some other people from the neighborhood. It wasn't a huge and crazy party like this estate has had in the past. It was low key and laid back. In fact, Sandy wore a t-shirt. It was one of those with the grill apron printed right on it. If I had any question whether coming back to Newport Beach would unwind and relax Sandy, it was answered right there. I kind of felt bad for Taylor's mom. All these years, she's been a really wicked woman, and people in this town don't forget that kind of thing. She was very aggressive in trying to keep Marissa from getting back into Harbor, so it's even more of a challenge with Julie. Even so, I give her credit for trying. It must not have been easy for her, but she was here and did a good job. It was nice seeing her and Taylor getting along so well. Obviously the argument they had the other night didn't carry over at all. She was even making small talk with Seth. Now we all know that she likes younger men, so one might get the wrong idea right away, but she's well aware of Seth's situation! She actually does have a boyfriend—younger—but decided it would be better of she came alone.


	7. Thursday, May 29, 2008

**Thursday, May 29, 2008**

I really want to write in here every day, but that just seems impossible with all that's going on…aka "life." I'm especially busy on the weekends, but I will at least try to write in here every day during the work week…which may be in the mornings most of the time before I go to work. It helps me unwind. Most people unwind at the end of the day, but I seem to need it in the morning. Nobody every accused me of being the same as everyone else.

Mom and Ross came home last night. Sandy was able to get things squared away with the rental car company, and it didn't cost Ross nearly as much as it could have. Both he and mom are very grateful, but Sandy just wanted to help out someone in his extended family. They had a wonderful time at the Cape and booked the same room for next year before they left, but think they might go back before then.

Seth is in heaven with his new job. He's not just working at Lucasfilms, but actually with George Lucas. He not only wants Seth to work on the animation for The Clone Wars, but he wants his input on the stories. I don't know much about George Lucas, but enough to know he rarely goes looking for advice for his stuff. So Seth can't shut up about all that, but it's cool to see him so passionate about something. I think if he could, he would sleep over there. I would not be surprised at all if he does end up taking in a couch every now and then at the studio.

My job is different every day, which I really like. We're spending the next two weeks on one site—a housing development about 30 miles away—and right now most of it is just dirt and sand. It's almost like being on the beach. It's supposed to be sunny the rest of the week, and in the high 70s and low 80s, so that will be nice. I can work on my tan while I work. Right now we're staking a very windy and curvy road. I found out they do that a lot to keep speeds down. That makes sense to me…especially if people have cars like my Audi. Have I mentioned how much I like my new car? Have I mentioned how much Taylor _loves_ it? Actually, she calls it "our" Audi. So…that has started with our relationship. But you know, I feel like whatever is mine is hers, anyway. We have our own separate checking account, but we also have a joint checking/savings account. Why not?

Mr. Samuel told me yesterday I've been doing a great job and the firm is lucky to have me. I'm just doing what I'm told to do and having fun doing it, but apparently they like what they've seen out of me. Norman and Greg fool around and play jokes on me and give me a hard time once in a while because I'm the new guy, but it's all in good fun. They must have told Mr. Samuel I'm doing well, so that's pretty cool.

What's even cooler is yesterday Taylor dropped me off so she could have "our" car for the day, but when she picked me up, she got out of the car to greet me. Now picture this…I'm standing around with eight other guys after a hard day's work. We're all tired, and would love nothing more than to take a hot shower and relax. Then this slick black car comes pulling in, and every one turns to look. After about 15 seconds, the door opens, but nothing happens. It was like they were being teased, but I had a huge smile on my face. Then just like those old ZZ Top videos…one leg…another leg…blonde hair…and then Taylor comes out. She has on this outfit that would make any sane man drool. She then closes the door, takes off her sunglasses, and smiles at me. She then turns to the guys and gives a quick wave and a "hi" to them to throw them a bone, and then focused back on to me. I told the guys I had to go, and they just watched me walk over and plant one on Taylor without a sound. Then she said just loud enough for the guys to hear, "you want a ride?" We got into the car and started laughing. She was totally playing them and it worked. Hey…Taylor's hot and she knows it. Why not use it for a little amusement once in a while? But as amusing at it was, she lured me in just like she did those guys. We were a little late getting back home, but I'm just going to just leave it at that. Now that's the way I like my work day to end.


	8. Monday, June 2, 2008

**Monday, June 2, 2008**

Well, talk about bad luck. Yesterday Taylor and I had planned a day to visit none other than Universal Studios in Hollywood. We were both up getting ready when Sandy came over and knocked on our door. He told us we should turn on the TV and take a look at CNN. When I asked him what it was about, he shook his head and pointed at the TV and said, "No, turn it on. I'm not going to be the bearer of bad news." I really didn't know what he was talking about. If it was serious, he wouldn't be acting this way. When I turned on the TV, they were showing footage of a fire, and then it said on the bottom of the screen, "Universal Studios." I couldn't believe it, and Taylor just kind of chuckled, shaking her head. We never really plan on doing stuff like this, so we were excited. They said the tours would continue, but streets were blocked off and it would be difficult to get there. We didn't waste any time saying we'd forget it and go another time. I was really bummed out to hear the town square where many famous scenes from "Back to the Future" were shot burned down to the ground. Even the Clock Tower was damaged, but it will be repaired. I was actually looking forward to the King Kong exhibit, but that was destroyed. Although it's all inanimate and replaceable, it proves how cut short some things in life—and life itself—can be. We all know about that too well.

Seth asked me to go out with him on Saturday, but didn't tell me why. We didn't have any plans, so I took a ride with him. I had no idea where we were going, and didn't ask, but I certainly didn't expect to end up where we did: the jewelry store. Yep, Seth took me to go engagement ring shopping. Apparently Summer had sent him pictures of rings she thought were beautiful. She didn't say why she sent them, or even that she wanted one. She just wanted to show Seth she liked them. If that wasn't a big enough hint, Seth would have needed some serious smacking around. He had the printouts with him and we saw an example of each one she sent. Once he decided on what design he liked, it was time to investigate the "thee k's"…which really aren't all "k's" at all. Listening to the jeweler explain everything gave me good background information for when I buy a ring for Taylor. While we were there, I suggested to Seth we go somewhere far outside of Orange County because of the prices. Although, the amount of money saved would probably be eaten up by gas. But he told me not to worry and he wanted to buy it there. Maybe his friend George gave him an advance or something. We were there for about an hour, and Seth picked out the ring he wanted. I asked him again if he wanted to check some other places out first, and he turned his head and looking right into my eyes and said, "Don't you think I know what I'm doing?" I put my hands up and stepped away! So several thousands of dollars later, we walked out of the store, and Seth had in his possession the symbol of his everlasting life with Summer Roberts. Years ago I never, ever thought there would be such a day, but the man certainly deserves it. I just hope he doesn't have a Star Wars themed wedding. I'm no Jedi and I don't care to be a Jedi.

I had a weird dream last night. I dreamt that Luke came down from Portland, broke into the jail cell that Volchuck is in, and killed him with a yellow high-heeled shoe. Then he picked up Julie and they got married in Omaha. Jimmy and my dad were co-best men. The spooky thing was Marissa was the maid of honor, but she wore a wedding dress as well. I played the piano, but was playing REO Speedwagon songs instead of wedding songs. When I woke up, I was so confused and laughed. It didn't wake up Taylor, but I'm glad she was there. It's always nice to see her there when I wake up.

Time for a shower…


	9. Tuesday, June 3, 2008

**Tuesday, June 3, 2008**

Yesterday was a long day at work. It was hot and we worked entirely in the "dessert" that will be the middle of that street. I found out that after we finish staking the street next week, we're going to be staking some houses that will be built here as well, so we'll be here for a while. But every now and then we'll have a day here and there to do other quick jobs to break up the monotony. The cool thing is there are a lot of great places to eat very close by. We still go to McDonald's every morning, but yesterday we went to this new place called the Peach Pit. The guy working there said it's a new chain spinning off from a successful lone location. Sometimes I think it would be neat to own my own business, but it's pretty darn risky. Supposedly half of restaurants go under in the first six months. Some famous accountant said that, but I can't remember whom.

(Yes! I think I finally nailed down the who vs. whom debate. Now I have to conquer lay vs. lie vs. laid vs. lain. Then again, maybe not.)

Seth is freaking out. He doesn't know what to do with the ring. He wanted to put in our house, and I told them we would have none of that. If he doesn't even know what to do with the ring, how is he going to plan out anything else? I told him to get a safety deposit box at the bank or have Sandy put it one of his safes. He doesn't want his parents to know, though. Only Taylor and I know right now. Great…so we're going to be the brunt of his paranoia on this. Wonderful…just wonderful.

Last night I watched an amazing hockey game. I'm really not into sports, but I have a hidden passion for hockey. Taylor's pretty much the only person who knows. It's not like I'm hiding it or anything…it just never comes up. I hope the Penguins come all the way back and win the Stanley Cup. There's a long story as to why I don't like the Red Wings. It related to what was my favorite team, the Hartford Whalers. It's an even longer story why the Whalers were my favorite team. Not surprisingly, I was not happy when the Hurricanes (or Whalercanes as Whale fans sometimes call them) won the Cup a few years back. But last night was one of the most exciting hockey games I've ever seen. It was pretty cool when the Ducks won last year…we felt the excitement down here. But I'll never get over that my Whalers are no more…at least for now.

It's odd that I had a dream about Volchuck the other night, because Sandy got a message from him yesterday. Apparently he's being roughed up because of the nature of what he did…it's not sitting well with one of the bruisers in his block. Volchuck is trying to get Sandy to help have him moved. As much as I hate the guy for what he did, I sat and thought about what he must be going through and what it must be like for him, especially for what he talked to Sandy about, and I almost feel sorry for him. If I wanted to, I could have killed him in that hotel room. He was going to let me. I felt the urge to. I almost reached the point of temporary insanity, which I think happened to Trey when he was about to kill me with that phone. But honestly…I truly believe he feels sorry for what happened…and what it did to me. He didn't love Marissa…he was obsessed with her and wanted to control her. In the very least, he wanted to keep her away from me. But he certainly didn't want to harm her. In a warped kind of way, I think he misses her. But anyway, those kinds of things were racing through my mind when I was contemplating killing him. I really could have, and I came a lot closer than I care to admit even to myself. But where the hell would I be right now if I did? Yeah…exactly…in hell. I guess deep down, I hope Sandy can help him. He must be tortured enough every day knowing he's responsible for someone's death. I don't even want to think about what that must feel like, no matter who it would have been.

Poor Sophie. When I walked into the kitchen of the main house last night, she got so excited she came running over to me, tripped on the carpet, and landed flat on her face. I felt horrible! She screamed her head off. She has a bruise on her forehead, but nothing worse. She was talking to me within 10 minutes. She loves to eat apples. She has a little trouble with the skin, so I'll bite off the skin on about half of it, and then give it to her. She then takes off chowing down on it…with some pieces trailing behind her. It's impossible think of what it would be like here without her. She brightens everyone's day just by being who she is.

It's not going to be that hot today, but there is still no rain in sight for at least the next week, which makes things pretty dusty out there staking. But like I mentioned, I'm working one serious tan. Taylor is very fair skinned and burns more than anything else. I think she's getting a little embarrassed at how dark I'm getting and how sheet white she is. She talked about trying a tanning salon. Kirsten overheard her and I guess they're going together…along with Sophie. They better not put my little sister in that thing!


	10. Friday, June 6, 2008

**Friday, June 6, 2008**

I haven't been around for the past couple of days because I got into a car accident. On the way home from work Tuesday, some guy t-boned me at an intersection. My Audi wasn't totaled, but it's in the shop and will be there for another week. The other guy is fine, but his car is totaled…which I couldn't care less about because he obviously didn't care less about running a red light. I didn't break anything, but was really banged up and spent the night in the hospital. One of the first things I did was call Mr. Samuel to let him know what happened to me. He called me on Wednesday morning on my cell phone before I was released and was genuinely worried about me. He said to take all the time I needed to recover, and the team would be OK and waiting for me when I got back. That afternoon a huge edible arrangement was delivered to the house from the firm. I hope to be back to work sometime next week. Norman and Greg called to see how I was doing, too. Of course, when Mom found out she freaked and was going to drop what she was doing and haul Ross up here to visit, but I calmed her down and said I was fine. She said they're going to come up in a couple of weeks, anyway.

Taylor of course has been taken really good care of me. She insisted I come into the main house during the day so she can take care of both Sophie and me. Can I be any more lucky to have her in my life?

This whole experience has made me really tired. I hope to be getting back to normal…or on my way to it…sometime this weekend.


	11. Friday, June 13, 2008

**Friday, June 13, 2008**

I can't believe I haven't written in here since last Friday. Amazingly, not a lot has happened in the past week. Well, I got my car back. The Audi is back on the estate, and as soon as it was back, it was gone. In addition to taking care of Sophie during the day, Taylor has been running errands for Kirsten..and of course she takes _our_ car to run them. Taylor asked if we could keep the baby seat in the car instead of having to keep putting it in and taking it out each time she goes out with Sophie…even though it will probably only be on the weekends once I get back to work. Having a baby seat in the Audi wasn't exactly the look I was thinking of when I was looking at cars with Sandy, but after a day or two I don't mind. The guys at work will probably have something to say about it when I return, that's for sure.

Yesterday I walked into the kitchen and found Kirsten crying. She was holding a glass and unfortunately my first instinct was she had been drinking, but it was only water. I asked her what was wrong, and at first she didn't want to tell me, but when I eased up she eventually told me she was thinking about her father and missed him. It was a little awkward because Kirsten never really talked too much about Caleb, and even less after he died. As far a I recall, she never talked about him positively at all. So, I was a little uncomfortable, but I let her talk my ear off. She doesn't really miss her father so much as she misses the opportunities they didn't take advantage of as father and daughter when he was alive, and she regrets the chilly relationship he had with Sandy. In fact, she feels responsible for it. She feels she could have done a lot more than she did to try and make things better between them. I told her that although I didn't know Caleb long, he was the kind of person whose mind you cannot change. If he didn't like Sandy, he was never going to like Sandy. It had nothing to do with her…it was just the way Caleb was. Amazingly she seemed to take some comfort in that. I'm sure I wasn't the first person to tell her that, but maybe hearing it from someone different made an impact. I didn't ask what made her so sad on that day. The anniversary of his death was last month—almost to the day of Marissa's anniversary—so it wasn't that. It could have been anything. But, I was happy to make her feel better. She asked me not to tell anyone she was upset. I don't know why she asked me that, but I told her I'd keep it to myself.

Taylor told me this morning that we need a romantic evening together. She walked over to me stomping her feet pretending to pout and said we never do anything really nice with just the two of us. She left it to me to make the plans because I have so much time on my hands and she's busy with Sophie. So much for taking care of me, I guess! So, I have to think of something really, really good. I told her fine, I would do it, but that she was in charge for dessert. She gave me a smile that made me start making plans immediately!


	12. Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

**Friday, June 24, 2008**

So much has happened since I last wrote in here I don't know if I'll get it all. Now that I have free time, I hopeful will be writing in here daily again. Why do I have free time? Because I lost my job. The slow economy has hit everywhere, including construction and new projects. That trickled down all the way to a rodman. Mr. Samuel had no choice to eliminate one surveying team. In a sense, what he did was lay off the last three hires, and since I was the last one to join the company, I was the first one on the list. It had absolutely nothing to do with the time off I took because of the car accident. Mr. Samuel was genuinely upset in having to let me go. Just from conversations he's had with me, he told me he could tell this is a field I could very well excel in. He said he wouldn't hesitate to offer a reference if I need it, and if business picks up and they are ready for a new team again, he'll call me immediately. He told me the other morning and said I could leave then or work the day—with pay—and I decided to work the day…not for the money, but because I really enjoy the work I did. The other two guys were very bitter and left. When I got back to the office at the end of the day, Mr. Samuel had a cake there, and they threw me a little going away party. I was barely there a month, but I fit in very well there. I already miss working with Norman and Greg very much. Hopefully we'll stay in touch.

Of course, being a lawyer, Sandy immediately jumped at the thought I was let go because of my accident, but I assured him that wasn't the case. But the situation does bring up a problem; I had just stared paying Sandy and Kirsten rent, and I also have the loan for the Audi. Sandy said forget about the rent. He never liked the idea, anyway, and the work that Taylor does with Sophie is more than enough. I reminded Sandy they pay Taylor to take care of Sophie, but he hushed me up and told me to forget about it. He then tried to eliminate my loan for the car, but I said no. He said if I insist, I can start paying him back again when I start working…whether it's in a week or four years. I think he hopes it just goes away, but I just can't do that. I have to take some responsibility. He told me if I don't find another job this summer than that's OK with him…he'd prefer I enjoy my summer before I start college. With the job market so bad, it's possible I could spend a month or two looking for a job I would only be able to keep for a few weeks. So maybe I will just enjoy the summer helping Taylor. We'll see.

Seth is starting to sleep at home again. The honeymoon of working at Lucas and being reunited with Zach has worn off, and he's realizing it's hard work. But he still loves it. He took my advice and put Summer's ring in a safety deposit box. We found out she's coming home in July, and Seth told me he's wasting no time asking her to marry him. I wouldn't be surprised if he does it right when she steps off the bus. He has no trouble confessing his love for her on tables in front of people, so you never know. However, my bet is he's planning something. He said he hasn't decided how he's going to do it, but I can see the smoke coming out of his ears. He's doing heavy thinking.

I have to write about the very romantic evening Taylor and I had over the weekend, but I'll do that tomorrow. I'm really tired.


	13. Monday, April 26, 2010

**Monday, April 26, 2010**

Yes, it's been two years since I wrote in my journal. I wish I could say it's because I got an iPhone and did everything on that, or that I was writing on paper and need to transfer everything on the computer—wow, that would be a pain—but no…in reality I just started to get bored with the idea of writing. Things were getting complicated…things I didn't even mention in the journal, but now things are nice. Things are calm and everything has been falling into place as they should. To write about everything that has happened in the last two years would take up several seasons of a TV show. (Hey, there's an idea.) However, I'll hit on a couple of the highlights.

Yes, Seth and Summer got married...last year, actually. I was the best man and Taylor was the maid of honor. The wedding was beautiful of course…outside and on a beautiful day. They honeymooned in Hawaii for two weeks, and came home and quickly found a house not that far away from here. So, I still see him all the time. That is, when he's not with George Lucas. Seth had this crazy idea of creating a sitcom in the Star Wars universe and told me about it, and I told him he was nuts. He pitched it to George, and he loved it. So, it looks like this fall, there will be a Star Wars sitcom. I don't see how it will work, but I wish them the best. I will probably see less and less of Seth soon because Summer is expecting twins! They should be here in July. This is definitely going to be interesting.

Yes…I asked Taylor to marry me, and she said yes. She didn't right away though, because when I got on my knee and asked her, she started bawling her eyes out. I really thought she was going to say no and was upset on how upset I was going to be. When I asked her if she was ok, she nodded while she was still crying. Then she wrapped her arms around me and told me she was saying yes to my question, and that yes, of course she was ok. I asked her right here on the stone patio as we were sipping champagne as the sun was setting. It was perfect…absolutely perfects. She's going crazy right now because our wedding is May 20, 2012…right after I graduate. It's a Sunday, but it was the first date that popped in my head. So, why not?

Taylor is still taking care of Sophie, who is growing like you would not believe. It's been a little tough on us since I had been planning on going to Berkeley, which is a ways away. So we figured out a plan: I've been going up late Thursday night, catch a few hours of sleep at the Cohen's place up there, take three once-a-week classes on Friday, stay overnight again, take two once-a-week classes on Saturday, and am home late afternoon. Amazingly, I've been handling it well. I'm wrapping up my sophomore year now and am doing very well. Someday, I hope to have my own civil engineering firm…and finally pay back Sandy for the Audi.


	14. Wednesday, April 28, 2010

**Wednesday, April 28, 2010**

It's been a pretty slow week so far, which I'm not complaining about. I have final exams coming up in a few weeks, but I'm doing well and keeping on top of everything. I can't believe I'm almost half-way done with college. Only being on campus two days, and one being a Saturday, doesn't really give me the traditional college experience. Plus, some people have already bolted from campus for the weekend before I even get there for my Friday classes because they don't have anything that day. But this works for me. Ten years ago, would I ever have thought I would be in college studying to be an architect? Sandy and Kirsten's house is so close to campus, it's almost like I'm there. Once in a while I'll get together with other students for study groups and even do a little bit of socializing. When exams come, I even sometimes go up during the week to study. Taylor is very understanding about that. Although we're going to get married before I graduate, we're definitely not going to have kids until after. Sophie is a handful and Taylor definitely feels the added duty when I'm away, so I certainly wouldn't want to bring a baby into that equation. Even if it's hard on Taylor, she doesn't let me know. She's so supportive of my education. I have told her countless times if she wants to get her degree after me, I would be thrilled and we could wait four more years to have children. But she said that's not what she wants to do now. She wants to raise a family, and maybe someday she'll go back to school.

I went to the Peach Pit here in Newport Beach to do some studying yesterday. I've been doing that regularly during my schooling…it's just a nice setting and gets me out of the house for something fresh. The original in Beverly Hills has been known for local high school kids coming in to do work, so ours has a section on one side of the restaurant geared for people to read and study and use laptops…kind of like what you see in coffee houses. The owner, Nat, splits his time between the two locations and sometimes asks me questions for advice on this area because he sees me in there a lot.

Seth got some bad news yesterday from Lucas. Although he's going through with the Star Wars sitcom, he's shelving the idea of doing Star Wars Episodes VII-IX. Seth is pretty bummed about that. It seems every Star Wars fan would love to see those stories with the original actors, but Lucas doesn't want to do it. Over the years, Seth has got me into a mild Star Wars fan, and I think it would be cool to have those three movies made. I still think this idea of a sitcom is ridiculous, but Lucas is going with Seth's idea, and he has a pretty good track record…at least as far as sales are concerned, and that's what moves people today.

A black high-heeled shoe just landed at my feet. I'm looking up and seeing Taylor staring at me, with a very…_very _seductive look. Time to stop typing…


	15. Thursday, April 29, 2010

**Thursday, April 29, 2010**

Well, I'm exhausted today…thanks to Taylor. I don't know what got into her last night, but holy cow…we were like teenagers for countless hours. That's the kind of passion that only happens when the stars line up for two people who are just destined to be with each other. "Magical" is way too weak a word to describe what Taylor and I have. Last night was perfect…exactly what that's all about and what it's supposed to be.

Well anyway, besides all the yawning and trying to keep my eyes open, today has been a really great day. My studies are my #1 focus—at least they're supposed to be—and I'm doing really well. I'm actually looking forward to my finals.

I just got done watching _FlashForward_. I love this show. A few years ago I wouldn't have given the show a second thought. But with Seth rubbing off on me, I've discovered this kind of thing and it's pretty entertaining. I also watch _V_, _The Big Bang Theory_, _Men of a Certain Age_, _Chuck_, and…dare I say…_The Secret Life of the American Teenager_. There is also some cop show Taylor wants me to check out. I'll let you know how that goes.

Are you kidding me? Taylor is back with that same look on her face she had last night. She just mouthed "Round Two" and is calling me over with her finger. Who every said men are the stronger sex? We're weaker than a wet noodle. Bye…


	16. Monday, May 3, 2010

**Monday, May 3, 2010**

So it's May already. Finals month! I love school, but I'm going to enjoy having some free time this summer once the semester is over. I haven't decided what I'm going to do. Part of my time of course will be helping Taylor with Sophie, which I do anyway. Sandy has offered me an internship helping him out at the public defender's office, which I have kind of done before, but not sure if I want to do that again. I would like to get another job, so maybe that's what I'll do. I just don't know. Sandy even suggested that I just hang out, as I will only have two more summers to do so before I graduate and actually work for real. You know, with this setting, that's a very attractive offer. I'll just have to see.

So Taylor introduced me to this new TV series called _Southland. _She's really into it, but I don't know. It's a crazy show and none of the characters really did anything for me. The acting was OK. I'll give it another episode or two and probably tell Taylor it's just not my kind of show.

This is short because I need to get back to studying. Plus Seth and Summer are coming over tonight. They're bringing over ultrasounds.


	17. Friday, May 14, 2010

**Friday, May 14, 2010**

I've been so busy with finals and…well…finals that it's been difficult to keep up with my entries recently. Now that I'm doing this on the computer, and my closest friends can read what I write, I've noticed nobody comments. So, I have this to ask:

Does anyone read my entries? If there is even just one of you that says you do and want me to continue, I will. Otherwise…I think I might spend some time on other things besides Ryan's Daily Journal.

I think I'll head to the Peach Pit. Supposedly Nat has something important he wants to talk with me about.


	18. Sunday, October 3, 2010

**Sunday, October 3, 2010**

I'm not sure where to begin. It's been quite a while since I wrote in my journal—which for now on I'll call a blog, since that's more accurate—and there is good reason. Taylor and I flew out to Hartford so I could take a look at some architecture schools in Connecticut. A friend of Sandy's in the area told us we absolutely must try this place called Joey Garlic's off the Berlin Turnpike in Newington. So, we decided to have dinner there the first night. While we were waiting for our table, two people started arguing about something. I don't remember what it was about, but they were getting loud fast, and then started engaging in fisticuffs…right next to Taylor. My instincts kicked in and I intervened. However, what I didn't see is one of the guys pull out a gun. Had I seen this, I could have reacted appropriately, but since I didn't, I proceeded to position my body between a firing gun and its target. Hence, I got shot…right in the head. The next thing I remember, I woke up in Hartford Hospital with Taylor looking down at me. It kind of felt like the time I woke from that very strange Chrismukkah dream…although this wasn't from a dream. I felt like I had empty space in my memory, and I had a weird headache.

As it turns out, I was unconscious—more or less in a coma—until September. I had several surgeries on my head and my brain, and amazingly all were successful. I have no after affects from the injury. In fact, when I woke up, I felt I could just get up and walk out of the hospital. Obviously, they didn't allow me to do that. However, after a few weeks, they finally did let me leave and attend the Durham Fair out here, and saw REO Speedwagon in concert (which was awesome). Today is the first full day I am really settling in. I'm staying out here for a while to do what I intended to do and look at schools. I should only be out here a couple of weeks. What's cool is we're staying in the home of someone who works at the hospital, and we're within site of the Mark Twain House and Museum, which is absolutely incredible. It was there he wrote some of his famous novels. We're already toured the house twice and I might again. I have seen pictures of what it looks like decorated for Christmas, and I hope to come back here to see that.

Oh by the way, both those thugs were arrested, and the guy who shot me is in jail and will be for a while. Fortunately, Taylor was excused from being a witness because they really didn't need her testimony with all the other people who saw it willing to say what they say. She didn't need that while I was recovering.

I'll be writing more regularly for now on. Thanks to everyone who have been asking where I've been and hoping I come back. That means a lot to me!


	19. Saturday, November 13, 2010

**Saturday, November 13, 2010**

Yes, it's been quite some time again since I wrote in my blog. I'm back home in Newport Beach. My time in Connecticut went well. The school I really want to attend is Yale, but as you probably know, that is beyond competitive. However, the person I met with, Robert A. M. Stern, said I had a chance of getting accepted if I continued to do well and did an internship or two. I actually may be attending classes at Yale University in two years. Can you imagine that? Looking back at where I was 10 years ago…that is almost impossible to fathom. One of my favorite movie characters off all time said, "if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything." He's right! BTW, I loved seeing that movie again in the theater for the first time in 25 years a few weeks ago. That was heavy.

However, Taylor and I will have just been married, and we of course would like to start a family. Taylor also has expressed a desire to get her degree, too. So, we have a lot of talking a decision-making in our future. But for now, we're just excited the meeting went so well.

There are countless things I could be writing about in my blog. I'd like to get some feedback from you who take a look at this. Please write a review and let me know what areas of my life you're most interested in, and I'll focus on those. I'll still write a little bit about everything, but I'd rather spend more time on what you would like to read.

Ummm…just as I was typing that, Taylor walked into the room. She has what you would think is an evil smile, but in reality it's…well…let's just say I need to go. And if you saw what she was wearing (or rather what she wasn't wearing), you would be wondering why I'm taking the time to write this sentence. Bye, bye…


	20. Thursday, November 18, 2010

**Thursday, November 18, 2010**

Wow, its one week to Thanksgiving. It seems like yesterday was just Christmas. Then again, that could be because Christmas decorations have been up all over Newport Beach since the beginning of October. Actually, I saw Christmas merchandise being sold as part of a Labor Day sale. Yes, Labor Day is the unofficial end of summer, but it's not the unofficial start of Christmas…is it? Well, needless to say, this time next week we'll all be getting together and bringing family chaos into order for a wonderful family Thanksgiving dinner. I think its Sandy's favorite holiday. I'm not so sure what my favorite holiday is. Since I have been with the Cohens, every day seems like a holiday. Every day I have a family, it seems like a holiday. Every day I can look into Taylor's eyes and see my infinite future, it's a holiday. How did I become so blessed?

Last time I wrote, Taylor was walking into my room, and to be blunt, she wanted some action. Who in the world was I to say no? So I got up from behind my desk. Just as she was walking across my room with these eyes that would bring down the strongest man, she caught glimpse of an advertisement going across my laptop screen. It was something about France, and it was like someone snapped a finger—she was completely out of the zone we were establishing. She sat down and started doing a search for vacationing to France. (She did, however, briefly see I was writing in my blog and said, "oh cool, another entry"…and abruptly collapsed the window to do her searching.) Then she started going on and on like only Taylor can about wanting to go back to France and how much she missed the French people and maybe she would like to buy a vacation home there someday and perhaps our children could go to school there. It was one of these moments where I looked all around to see where she was plugged in. I mean, where was she getting all this energy? And how could she be literally a minute away from unleashing amazing passion on me, and without a thought, throwing herself into…France? What on Earth was so amazing about France, anyway? So…I asked her.

Yeah, good move, Atwood.

She stopped typing, flung her head around, looked me straight in the eye, and said, "WHAT?" I knew at that very second I was in trouble. I thought she was going off about France a moment before. Holy smokes, I had no idea what I did or what was coming. How could I ask such a question? Did I not know her at all? How much time had she spent in France? How could she not be in love with the country and its people…and its food? Why wouldn't she not want to go there? Why wouldn't she not want to spend vacations there? Why wouldn't she not want to consider it a second home?

You can absolutely see Taylor going off like this, can't you?

The funny thing is, I know Taylor pretty well, but I am still never prepared for these pontifications she lets loose with. For the next ten minutes, I heard more about France than most people who live there their whole lives. I tried to act like I was interested, but I guess I made a look that led her to believe I was patronizing her. Can you patronize someone with a look? Well, apparently, you can…or at least I can…at least that's what I was told. By this time she was walking all over the room, throwing her hands in the air and all that. She then suddenly grabbed a jacket of mine—because remember, she was wearing next to nothing—put it on, and said right at me like a fistful of knives being thrown at my face: "Ryan Atwood, you don't know me at all!" and stormed out of my room. I have not heard from her since. Well, I have heard her, because she is here taking care of Sophie, but she hasn't said a word to me. She looks at me, and gives me a high-pitched, "HMMFF!" and spins her way away from me. I actually thought it was a little cute at first. I mean, you have to love Taylor. She is so passionate about things, and when she gets all emotional and irrational about things she loves, it's cute…in a Taylor kind of way. But this has been a number of days, and quite frankly, I miss her…a lot. So tonight, I'm going to see what I can do to patch things up with her. I just…miss her. Wish me luck.


	21. Tuesday, June 11, 2013

**Tuesday, June 11, 2013**

I can't believe it's been over two and a half years since I wrote in my online journal. I thought I was here just a couple of months ago. Is that how fast time flies? Well, I have indeed been having fun. I love my life and I love what I'm doing. A lot has happened; I mean, a lot. Most of it was good, but some of it was not so good. It's going to take me quite some time to get everything up-to-date on this thing, but before I do, I just want to make sure people still want to read this. I like knowing I have friends who care about me and want to know what's going on in my life, but I also know everyone is busy with their own business. So, if there is interest, I will start writing here again. If not, maybe I'll check back down the road. No worries at all!


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